Miracles abound but often go unnoticed because we’re too busy being the center of our own selfish universe. So, every now and then, life kind of enjoys hitting us between the eyes with a shovel just to remind us of lessons we previously learned and then promptly forgot because, well, you know, we’re special. I was on the receiving end of one of these “shovel-ready” blows recently. I was apparently in need of a not-so-subtle reminder of how important it is to practice humility and gratitude daily – and that’s just what I got, right between the eyes. I was helped along in process by a very special student named Tom.
My initial visit with Tom didn’t start out well. It was a dark and chilly early November evening when I arrived at his home to teach him my program. And if first impressions mattered, I would’ve bet the farm that teaching Tom was going to be a waste of my time that night.
Tom was referred to me by his cardiologist. He desperately needed help in losing fat and improving his health. He was 67-years-old, weighed in excess of 300 pounds, and had just been released from the hospital – again – after suffering numerous complications from congestive heart failure. He was taking cholesterol and hypertension meds along with dealing with the effects of sleep apnea and Type 2 diabetes. But this was nothing new for me.
The chronic diseases that travel with obesity are rampant among the students I teach and Tom was not an exception. After arriving at his home that Thursday night in November and surveying his humble abode, I was sure that he would be counted among the legions I had worked with over the years who choose to remain deaf to my message. But I soldiered on.
Tom was living in a trailer that ironically resembled the state of his failing health; it was old and falling apart. Most of the windows were broken and boarded up to keep out the elements and the siding, what was left of it, was falling off in pieces. I knocked on what I presumed to be the front door for at least five minutes with no luck. I found it difficult to believe that anyone could live in such a dilapidated trailer and survive the harsh winters. I vowed never again to complain about the conditions of my home – at least my windows had glass.
I was filled with the urge to get back in my car and drive home but my conscience was not about to afford me that opportunity. So, I walked around trailer until I found a second door and knocked again, only this time harder, and my efforts were rewarded. I heard a faint, raspy voice inviting me to come in. I figured the inside of the trailer couldn’t possible be in worse condition than the outside – I was wrong.
Tom wasn’t a professional hoarder yet; he was more of an apprentice. He motioned for me to join him at his kitchen table. I was confused with the request; to me, “joining” usually means sitting in a chair at a table with someone. But in Tom’s case, there was no chair and no visible table. The table that was standing in his kitchen was littered with empty bottles, dirty dishes, hunting and fishing magazines, spent shotgun and rifle shells, fishing lures, and spools of fishing line. I suddenly felt as if I’d inadvertently wandered onto the set of the movie “Deliverance.” I was instantly alert for any sounds of dueling banjos playing in the background. But Tom couldn’t have been a more gracious and kind host.
He kindly found me a chair and efficiently cleared a space for me at the table by sweeping everything onto the floor. When we were both finally seated, he mentioned in passing that if I had to use the bathroom, not to use the toilet because the plumbing didn’t work. Instead, he suggested that I use the bucket next to it. Suddenly, the need to use the bathroom was the furthest thing from my mind.
I sat down and looked across the table, but couldn’t quite see Tom. My vision was blocked by an array of empty Vodka bottles. Exasperated, I closed my eyes and cursed my fate. Here I was, I thought, 56-years-old, and this was what my life had been reduced to. I had gone from working with elite athletes and doctors to teaching Jethro Bodine’s illegitimate son. I was silently hoping Tom would just shoot me with one of his many guns strategically located throughout his trailer and put me out of my misery. Because, well, you know, it’s all about me right?
But cutting through the noose of self-pity I was slowly strangling myself with, came the soft sounds of music from Tom’s radio station in the background. It was tuned to a Christian music station. I suddenly felt waves of shame roll over me as I realized the awful and wonderful truth – I wasn’t there for me, I was there for Tom.
Change Your Story, Change Your Life
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl
Tom deserved my best and I wasn’t going to disappoint. My teaching philosophy has always been: “Meet the student where they are, not where you want them to be.” I began our session together by asking him if he liked Vodka, a rhetorical question given the preponderance of evidence strewn across his kitchen table, and he enthusiastically answered in the affirmative. I said that’s just fine because on my program, nothing is off limits. I told him I could fit Vodka into his program every day if he liked – he liked.
Next, I asked Tom what he liked to eat daily. He told me that he lives alone, doesn’t cook much, and has a very limited income so most of the food he eats is either packaged, canned, boxed, or frozen. He also listed a couple of fast food establishments that he frequents regularly. I explained to Tom that we were going to build his new eating plan around the foods he loves and not around the foods that he thinks he’s “supposed” to eat. We spent the next thirty minutes or so creating Tom’s meal plan and food portfolio comprised of the foods he was comfortable eating. Then it was time to teach Tom how to eat.
I took out my tape measure and measured Tom’s body at seven strategic sites. I then used his measurements to estimate his body fat percent and calculate his current lean body mass. I explained to Tom that his lean body mass was the part of his body that needed to be fed every day, so going hungry on my program wasn’t an option. Once I had his pounds of lean body mass and his current body fat percent in hand, I was able to calculate his initial Caloric Prescription (CalRx).
I explained to Tom that his Caloric Prescription (CalRx) detailed the rules that govern now much food he could eat per meal, per day, and when to eat his meals and snack. This concept was an easy “sell” for me because Tom was well-schooled in taking multiple medications daily. I asked him to begin seeing food as just another medication and take it according to his “prescription” – he got it. I spent the rest of the evening teaching Tom the intricacies of How to Eat the foods he enjoyed that would allow his body to do what it was created to do – burn fat and heal itself. I promised him that if he followed the rules of my program unconditionally, there was no way he could fail. And I meant it; I always mean it, but given Tom’s circumstances, I didn’t have much faith in his ability to succeed. But it wasn’t my faith that mattered – it was his.
We finished the evening with a nice conversation about Tom’s favorite past-times of hunting and fishing. I thanked him for his kindness and for allowing me to teach him and wished him well. I let him know that he should probably contact me in about nine months or so to be reassessed to update his Caloric Prescription. I got into my thinking I’d never hear from Tom again. I was wrong.
Unbeknownst to me, Tom was about to change his story and his life while teaching me a lesson in humility and gratitude along the way.
The 4 Keys to Successful Physical Transformation
Tome called me nine months later in early September of 2019 and asked to be reassessed. Fearing the worst, I didn’t ask Tom how he had done over the past nine months on his program. I just went ahead and made an appointment for him to come to my farm – there was no way I was going back to his trailer. But when he pulled into my driveway and got out of his truck, I realized how wrong I had been about Tom’s chances because I suddenly found myself staring at a new man. I didn’t recognize Tom – he was lean, smiling from ear-to-ear, and glowing with health. After I reassessed Tom, I realized he had lost over 120 pounds in nine months and now weighed a healthy and lean 184 pounds. Tom also mentioned that he was off most of his meds and had greatly reduced the dosages of the ones he was still taking.
After finishing his reassessment in my garage, Tom and I walked outside and visited for a while. I finally asked him what he thought were the keys to his miraculous transformation. He laughed and said that I ought to know because I was the one who gave them those keys nine months earlier. Shame flowed through me once again because I didn’t think Tom was even listening when I went over my “4 Keys to Successful Transformation.”
Below are the keys to Tom’s success. They were listed on a handout I left with Tom after our session together. What I didn’t know or even expect at the time was that after I left his trailer, Tom taped the list to the door of his refrigerator, and it became his new “story”.
Below are the keys to Tom’s success that he posted on his refrigerator door that November evening.
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- Follow your personalize Caloric Prescription (CalRx) exactly as it is designed for you unconditionally.
- Remember, there are no “good” foods or “bad” foods except quantity makes them so.
- If you can’t count it, you can’t eat it.
- Embrace your program with the faith of a child.
Tom, with simple child-like faith, trusted in me and my program and in so doing, created something beautiful – a lean and healthy body.
Tom’s amazing transformation reminded me of the universal truth that I so thoughtlessly ignored during our first visit; that you are powerful beyond measure to change your life, regardless of your physical circumstances, when you choose to change your mindset. I should have known better than to judge a book by its cover.
You Have Enough
One of my favorite economists, George Gilder, wrote in his book, Knowledge and Power, that “In the information age, economies can change as quickly as minds can change.” In other words, bad economies are, more often than not, the result of bad ideas. I believe the same can be said about our seemingly intractable obesity epidemic.
Most of us fail to achieve our goals of fat loss, improved health, and enhanced fitness not becasue we lack commitment; rather, we fail because we’re wedded to a series of bad ideas about how the process works. Clarity of thought must always precede clarity of action, and clarity of thought was all I gave Tom on that evening in November. Before Tom could transform his body, he had to transform his mind. But once he transformed his mind, nothing could stop him.
Tom’s physical environment didn’t change one bit after I left him that evening. He still lived in his trailer, still ate the seam foods, still laced a toilet and money, and still imbibed regularly in Vodka. Yes non of these things mattered because he was able to successfully change his story. What the mind sees the body believes.
Tom’s success brings to mind a story I read in a book written by John Bogle, the founder of Vanguard. I believe it nicely sums up the lesson of Tom’s miraculous transformation.
“At a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island, the late Kurt Vonnegut informs his pal, the author Joseph Heller, that their host, a hedge fund manager, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch 22 over its whole history.”
“Heller responded, ‘Yes, but I have something he will never have … Enough.”
Tom had “enough” to succeed and so do you. There are no excuses.
Before he left to go home after his reassessment in my garage, Tom noticed the pile of 15 bags of salt that had been delivered to my home just before he arrived. He asked if I would like some help moving them into my garage. I said I would love some help. I stood humbly by as Tom, now 69-years-old, hoisted one of the 50 pound bags effortlessly to his shoulder and walked into my garage. It was then that I realized that Tom not only was my student; he was also my teacher.
“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”
Viktor Frankl
START SMALL, STAY SIMPLE AND ACT CONSISTENTLY!
Bryan – “The Fat Loss Sensei”